Are the days you spend lying around a waste?

I don't think so...

... Reflecting is good.

Give me miles and miles of mountains, and I'll ask for the sea

I know I said I wasn't gonna tell anyone my plans because I change my mind too much, and to be quite frank, my mind is different since then, BUT I've made a final decision. Savannah, Georgia. I've actually known this for a long time, but there were always other options that were maybes. Now after being home for the first time in months, I realize I don't belong there. I love my family and friends in PA, but Philly will always be my home. I realized this weekend that it's a place that I can always come back to. It's not going anywhere. Part of the epiphany was also coming to terms with the fact that I like being on my own. I like being away from it all, coming and going as I please. I will always love Burlington and the people I've come across living here, but that doesn't make it the right place for me. I'm just putting my foot down and going for it.

Decisions are made and not bought, But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot. I guess not.

Just an FYI, I'm not always an emo case...

I'm in love with MGMT! I guess you could argue some of the lyrics are slightly "emo", but really, few lyrics in the world aren't. I suggest all their songs, especially Electric Feel if you're in a dance party kind of mood. Justice does a pretty good remix of that song.

Seeing Things

I keep finding these "signs" that I think are hinting at what I am suppose to do. I'm not sure if I really believe in signs, but these are really weird coincidences. Maybe its my conscience just helping me figure out what I really want. Sometimes I believe our conscience has more of a voice then we think, like dreams for instance. It may not be that far off to think that something deep inside is making certain things stand out in order to help me answer my questions. That's probably all signs are, your brain helping you to tap into what you really want.

Either way... I think I found my answer. I'm not telling anyone because we all know I'm bound to change my mind.

I'm screaming for something...

On My Own - The Used

See all those people on the ground
Wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
But just for tonight
The top of the world
Sitting here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know

And now it seems that I have found
Nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
Slow it down, slow it down
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On my own... On my own... On my own... On my own
On my own... On my own

Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On my own... On my own... On my own... On my own

My head hurts. I think to much, and then get lost in my thoughts. I can never come out with a clear answer. I've become the most indecisive person in the world. I'm trying to think about my future here, think about me, but all that I end with are the people I love. What about them? What happens to them in my final decision? Do I loose them or does the distance make us closer? I don't want to loose anyone. I don't want to just remember anyone. I want everyone to follow me where ever I go, forever...

I'm trying to pick my next step, or rather the school I finally commit myself to. All three are in very different locations. All three have pros and cons. UArts, SCAD, or Burlington College??? Everyone has a choice for me, but no one's providing the correct argument. I don't want to make this decision on my own, but I guess I'll have to.

Killadelphia

I love that I call Philly my home. I love that Philly is the only city that you don't actually have to live in to call home. A lot of people don't understand this logic, but if you're from the area, then you know what I'm talking about. Mostly, I LOVE the people. We are diehards down in the 215. We do everything to the max, especially when it comes to supporting our teams. With our luck (this being that we haven't won a sports championship in 25 years) most people would have lost hope. Not us! Whether we win or loose, we love every single player who represents our city. "Brotherly Love" could never reign so true anywhere else.

Tonight the only sports team that I actually follow won the World Series. The WORLD fucking SERIES! I hate television, but spending hours on end, day after day, has never been more worth it. My boys came in as the underdog. All sports professionals were leaning for the other team. But, WE won. Not them. Us! I seriously believe this time a lot of it was due to the fans. All those people who spent the hours watching. All those people who flew down to Florida for games 1 & 2. All those people who sat in the freezing ass rain with our boys for 6 and 1/2 innings only to have the game be post-poned. Mostly, of those people, the 99% who dropped plans to come back 2 days later, and give our team the same hope and confidence needed to take it all.

I LOVE PHILLY, and I Love all of you who love it too.

Magic.



It only gets better.



"Do you think that theres anybody in the tent?"



My biggest commitment ever.


Airhorn Dana

They've learned to tune it out. I learned to love every minute.


she's a lady

Our children are screwed.




German Boys


Get WiLD

Because we can.

"So careless, I could care less"

Everything I love and hate about random hook ups...
In Search of a Midnight Kiss

Awesome story line. Good acting. Amazing movie.

Complain. Complain. Complain.

All I ever want to do anymore is complain. A lot of it comes from my job. I never complained this much before I started working there. The sad thing is I know I'm doing it too, but I can't help it. Sometimes the only thing I have to talk about with other people is how shitty certain things are, hence my job. BUT, complaining all the time is annoying, which is why I've been trying to quit.

I saw this thing on TV where some guy was trying to get you to buy his book and this bracelet to support his religion. Lame, but the bracelet however did serve quite a clever purpose. Every time you complain, you switch it to the other wrist. Over time, the 21st century American in you gets lazy of switching it, so naturally you cut back on complaining. That or you give up on the process all together. Either way, it's worth a shot to steer off the road towards Annoying City.

It is however, completely impossible to not complain. The guy in the commercial claimed he hadn't said anything negative about something or someone in years. At first I was way impressed. This dude must be pretty chill... but then I remembered he was selling a religion, therefore making this statement not entirely 100%. Plus, looking back I think he was technically complaining about complaining. Right?

Anyways, I'm going to try to cut back. Tonight it was easy...
My Killadelphia Phillies have just won the first game of the World Series. <3


P.S. I'm pretty sure it snowed for quite some time today.

If I were a guy...

So once upon a long time ago, I stumble!d upon a lovely little blog. I have been addicted ever since.

365observations.com

Pretty much this guy thinks just like me, give or take a few things due to the gender difference. Actually he reminds me of an old really good guy friend who I've sort of drifted apart from. Maybe that's why I enjoy this blog so much...

He updates daily (hence 365 observations) so there's always something new.

Thoughts.

Ive been doing my usual amount of thinking too much lately. Today I thought about how many people there are in the world. There are so many people I will never meet or even cross paths with in my lifetime. There's people who my life won't even the slightest affect. For some reason this really bothers me. I once had a social studies teacher who said, "The only way to live forever is through other people." The sad part is that most of these people still "living" hundreds of years later were murder crazed dictators. All of us good folk got maybe 30 years of extra living if we're lucky. Anyways, I'm not trying to live forever through stories or what not, I just more so think its weird that there's people just like me out there who I will never get the chance of meeting. This also got me thinking about what if everyone knew everyone? I'm guessing there could only be maybe 1,000 people or so in this world. Things would certainly be different, but how would they be? I mean maybe one day humans will be a dying species and this won't be that far fetched.

anyway... i plan on still sharing my thoughts on music soon but for now enjoy my new myspace player. (there's only 10 songs)
http://www.myspace.com/clepley

Mind Games

Absolutely crazy.

Someone's Thinking.

Seeds of our future.


I've been meaning for a while now to write a real post about music and life and such. Check back soon.

The Way I See It.

"Do they collide?"

Passenger Seat - Death Cab For Cutie

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed, then I'll be your pride
When you need directions, then I'll be the guide
For all time.
For all time.

"It doesn't have enough whimsy."

Today I discovered Alicia Bock.

The colors in her photographs are amazing. I love the desaturated look to it. It's definitely not something you can capture with digital, which is pretty much my view on film. Alicia has a blog she quite frequently posts new pictures.

Despite this new found love however, Denis Olivier will always reign my favorite photographer ever.

This is from his new series, Dreamspace Reloaded. It's less realism then I'm use to seeing with him, but still had the same dreamlike quality. The whole series is in black and white, which is what he does best.

Today I also saw a Mercedes Benz commercial which I think captures the overall feel of both photographers collections. Skip to 1 minute 6 seconds in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3JUHYlx98M

I'm in love with the opening shot. Look for the commercial this summer for better quality.

Lately...

A Different View

Some of my favorite types of books are Autobiographies. I love reading about those crazy experiences that set people apart. At the same time, I very much enjoy the stories that ground the author, and make them part of the normal club. It can be both exciting and disheartening to read how someone's life plays out. Autobiographies however, aren't always books.

I recently came across a site about a man who documented his life through a daily Polaroid for close to 20 years. Actually the site is more of a blogged translation of the photos pictured here. Life is full of surprises, and there is most definitely an unexpected ending in this one. If you have the time, I suggest clicking on the second link first before reading through the cheat sheet (a.k.a. the first link).

I keep thinking about the meaning life lately. It's obviously a short, delicate, yet miraculous thing. I'm having a lot of trouble forming a view on something I have so many unanswered questions about. I mean, what is the purpose of life, the purpose of my life? Is there any purpose at all? How significant am I really to this world, to everything?

Watching this video didn't exactly help, but it brought upon a view that was much needed.

túrána hott kurdís by hasta la otra méxico! from Till Credner on Vimeo.

It's amazing how this video put so much into perspective for me. I always knew we were small specs on a rotating sphere in space, but you don't always believe what you know. What I'm getting at is that you see the sun rise and set, same as the moon, but I don't think I've ever truly felt like we were doing all the rotating, more so that things were rotating around us. This video has definitely turned on a few light bulbs. The time lapse is so quick that you actually get to see how we are spinning in circles, and everything else is staying put. Not the other way around.

Anyways, the video is by Till Credner, a very dedicated observer of the sky. Till is also part of a group of observationist who have come together to blog their ideas and questions about the atmosphere and all it's crazy mysteries. You can read their thoughts and discoveries here. Lastly, he has another site, which he runs with a friend, filled with digital documentation of the sky and space. This is the website, but I recommend the blog more.

"We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams; Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams."

Sometimes it's really hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words everyone can understand. When I can't write or talk it out, I simply sit back, listen to some music, and feel what I need to feel. Occasionally, a song plays that says everything better then I thought or felt it.

I decided on these days to just post the lyrics that bring me to such epiphanies. Even better, today I decided to make a playlist so that if you'd like, you can hear these very songs.

I Believe In Symmetry - Bright Eyes

Some plans were made and rice was thrown
A house was built, a baby born
How time can move both fast and slow
Amazes me
And so I raise my glass to symmetry
To the second hand and its accuracy
To the actual size of everything
The desert is the sand
You can't hold it in your hand
It won't bow to your demands
There's no difference you can make
There's no difference you can make
And if it seems like an accident
A collage of senselessness
You weren't looking hard enough
I wasn't looking hard enough at it

An argument for consciousness
The instinct of the blind insect
Who makes love to the flower bed
And dies in the first freeze
Oh I want to learn such simple things
No politics, no history
Till what I want and what I need
Can finally be the same

I just got myself to blame
Leave everything up to fate
When there's choices I could make
When there's choices I could make
And now my heart needs a polygraph
Always so eager to pack my bags
When I really wanna stay
When I really wanna stay

When I wanna stay
When I wanna stay
When I wanna stay
When I wanna stay

The arc of time, the stench of sex
The innocence you can't protect
Each quarter note, each marble step
Walk up and down that lonely treble clef
Each wanting the next one
Each wanting the next one to arrive
Each wanting the next one
Each wanting the next one to arrive

An argument for consciousness
The instinct of the blind insect
Who never thinks
Not to accept its fate, that's faith
There is happiness in death
You get to the next one
You get to the next one down the line
You get to the next one
You get to the next one down the line

The levity of longing that
Distills each dream inside my head
By morning watered down forget
On silver stars I wish and wish and wish

From one to the next one
From one to the next right down the line
From one to the next one
From one to the next right down the line

You get to the next one
You get to the next one down the line
You get to the next one
You get to the next one down the line

"He is much better off without me."

61 years, 2 months, and 16 days ago Evelyn McHale took her life by jumping from the top of the Empire State Building. Minutes later Robert Wiles snapped this...


This may be one of the most disturbingly beautiful pictures I have ever seen. Its amazing how peaceful this 23 year old woman looks just minutes after her lowest of lows.

...

www.scad.edu

We don't talk because we have so much to say.

Now At Last - Feist

Now at last I know
What a fool I've been
For have lost the last love
I should ever win

Now at last I see
How my heart was blind
To the joys before me
That I left behind

When the wind was fresh on the hills
And the stars were new in the sky
And the lark was held in the still
Where was I? Where was I?

When the spring is cold
Where do robins go?
What makes winter lonely ?
Now at last I know.

When the wind was fresh on the hills
And the stars were new in the sky
And the lark was held in the still
Where was I? Where was I?

When the spring is cold
Where do robins go?
What makes winter lonely ?
Now at last I know.

Ignorance is bliss.

best advice ive ever been given.

There's not enough time in the world.

Recently I've been slowly developing a fear of time. It's been passing by so fast that I've grown worried that I'm not getting the most of it. Actually, I know I'm not making the most of it. Really though, who does? Because I work so much now, I really haven't had much time to sit down and think. Lately, when I do get a chance, I tend to look back on the past 4 years or so. So much yet so little has happened. That sounds confusing I know. I guess what I'm getting at is a lot of the things I thought were going to happen didn't, but in that there's been a lot of unexpected surprises as well. I know life comes at you fast, but I haven't experienced it as much as I have since I've been in college. Since college (we can even narrow that down to my transfer to Champlain) I've experienced the following...

• Death of a close loved one - Even if I'm partically referring to my dog (my other dog and great grandmother recently passed), I was very close to him and I don't think I could ever repay him for the loyalty and love he showed for me.
  
• Debt - I don't mean school loans here, although they've been quite a heavy load as well.
  
• Living with roommates - In the dorms and in my new apartment. Either way it's been quite an experience.
• Living completely by myself - We all know that was the weirdest situation I could have gotten into.
• Turning 21! - I think I might actually drink less then I did before I was of age. I have however developed a recent tolerance to beer. Blue Moon owns my fridge.
• Complete Independence - From grocery shopping to rent. All on my own.
• Working Full Time - The downfall to the above.
• Promotion - I've gotten a raise or maybe been able to work in a different area of a job, but I've never been actually promoted.
• Being in charge of fellow employees - With the promotion came power. Now for once, I get to tell the people I work with what to do.
• Experimentation - I'm referring to substances here, although the older I get, the more people seem to want to kiss you on the mouth rather than your cheek.

Obviously there's a lot more but this list covers the important stuff. I didn't really plan on making a list till I got to thinking out loud. I just wish that life didn't come down to time, which in the end gets filled up with work. So really, living is to work? I hope that one day I can turn that around so that work is living.

That doesn't make any sense.

Anyways... Bonnaroo was good. I think we had too high of expectations and it wasn't able to live up to last year, but in the end, it was still good. As you can see, I've also gotten better at creating run-on sentences. The yota is fixed as well. I'm proud to say that I DO NOT miss the nagging comments, cheers from frat boys, and shrieks of terror from McDonalds employees over how loud it was. Really, it could be 5 miles from complete breakdown, and I would still drive the thing those last 5. AND speaking of time, I would like to apologize to anyone looking forward to seeing me home at the diner monday. I simply didn't have enough.

Politics (it had to happen eventually)

So I don't particularly like discussing politics because I feel 1. it's an argument waiting to happen and 2. it's a last resort topic that's too overplayed. Unfortunately I do think about it and therefore I'm going to quickly get this out of the way. There is a big chance I will not be voting this year. I've been saying this all year, and I still pretty much feel that way, especially since Cox and Kucinich were dropped out of the running. My reasoning is I'm not going to vote for people who go against what I believe is the direction this country should be going. Sure it would be great to have a black or female president, but it would not be great to have bad black or female president. Plus theres no way I'd vote republican. I feel to strongly about a change in how this country acts and thinks. My biggest one being to officially separate church and state. We live in a country filled with diversity and we need to start thinking for everyone, not just a select few. Ok, I feel like I'm getting into a rant which is what I did not want to do. I'm just saying I am not confident in our given candidates therefore I'm not going to vote for someone I'm not sure of. And please don't tell me that if I don't vote then I don't have a say on the outcome because I do. I can tell you right now that I am going to have a lot to say no matter the winner.

That aside... I'm moving out in less then 3 days! I'm mostly excited to get out of this jewish center. No more kids running down the hallways on weekends during Sabbath! And no more kids screaming outside from the preschool! And no more shitty shared bathrooms! And no more setting off the fire alarms because I am trying to cook a wholesome meal on my makeshift stove top! Pretty much... no more cheap ass crappy living conditions! This next year is going to be awesome with all my roommates and everyone living so close!

Also, Bonnaroo is in 2 weeks today! We already have a lot of booze and other substances to keep us busy. I'm trying some things for the first time which I am excited about! And we are camping out at walmart the night before which I hear is one of the best nights the whole weekend!

Pretty much, these next few weeks are going to be AWESOME.

Thomas Kin Chong

A lot of people see Tommy Chong (from Up in Smoke and That 70's Show) as an old man worn by drug use. Well I totally see him otherwise. As you may or may not have heard, Chong recently spent 9 months in prison for the selling of bongs. That's right... bongs. Something completely legal to sell here in the United States, but the government decided to put this man in jail for it because they felt that his fame for roles as a stoner promoted illegal marijuana use. Yes, I'm sure he has in some ways promoted smoking, but that isn't a crime that I'm aware of. There's actually more to this story. It was actually Chong's son who the charges were for, but the government, convinced that Chong was the greater evil, gave him the option of paying his sons time. Tommy figured his son, Marcus, was young and 9 months would be of more worth to him then an aging man. This is all discussed further in depth in the documentary A/K/A Tommy Chong. I'm actually ordering this movie Friday if anyone would like to borrow it sometime.

I, being obviously fairly interested in this story, decided to youtube Tommy Chong hoping to possibly come across a pirated version of the movie. Instead I just came across more gold. I first found this interview with Chong and Neil Cavuto from Fox News. This interview made me very furious. Not necessarily because of the topic and the very small minded views expressed, but more for how absolutely rude Cavuto was. As someone in news, you don't interview someone to argue with them, but rather then to get a person's opinion, not overwrite your own. It's fairly arrogant to have someone on to express their thoughts only to interrupt them countless times and not even listen to what they are saying. What was the point of the interview if he wasn't going to take in Chong's remarks? Chong brought up some very good points that I feel were shot down quickly by a very defensive Cavuto. There's nothing I dislike more then someone with a closed mind. At least listen to what the person has to say. In the end, if you still don't agree, well then you don't agree. Leave it at that.

Also in the midst of gold I found another Chong interview by Contessa Brewer. What's up with the short tempered, defensive news reporters? Notice how both reporters (Brewer and Cavuto) try to put words into Tommy Chong's mouth in their defense to make him seem crazy, when in fact they're really just having a personal battle on what they now believe after hearing some really good oppositions. And as if these reporters don't already look dumb enough, they go a head and ask if he had smoked before the interview. Really, can you make yourself look anymore ignorant? So what if he had smoked? If you knew anything about pot, you would know that some of your most clear and brightest thoughts come from smoking. You would also know that caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol are far worse then marijuana, yet all three are legal whereas marijuana obviously isn't. I bet both of them voted for Bush and to make their decisions seem ok, they go about their day to day living in extreme ignorance, focusing on dumb pointless issues.

Take 2

So I haven't really been writing in here, and I'm sorry to those who have brought this to my attention. I know you'd like to know what's going on in my life, but that's more of what the phone and facebook are for. I know I keep making new blog/journal sites, but that is because I change them I guess when I feel a change in what I want to write about. For example, I made this one as kind of a self reflection I guess you could say. I was also kind of tired some of the old sites I had where people from high school would find me, and try to be interested in what I'm up to. Let's just be honest... if you didn't find time to be interested in my life then, theres really no point in trying now. Especially since I have no care about what those people are doing. On that note, this is mainly for family, friends, and people I completely don't know to read. It's mostly me thinking out loud, so if you also get to thinking, you are more then welcome to also share those thoughts.

Anyways, there's a lot I've been wanting to share here, but right now I only have the stamina to share one thing. As most of you know, I consider myself agnostic. I am however very open to other people's beliefs, and like to take as much in as I can to hopefully try and form some of my own. However, what I don't agree with is when religious people act as radicals, and try to press their beliefs onto others, sometimes for the worst. I just read an article about a group of Baptist clergymen who are trying to rid the sea of a type of anemone that are considered transgendered.

"For God knows how long, this twisted sea creature has been running rampant in our oceans, spreading its unnatural, bisexual lifestyle. And it's high time somebody took a stand."

I'm hoping I don't have to explain why this is so crazy. I mean I try to be as unbiased as I can, but this is absolutely ridiculous. Why would you ever think it's ok to go into an environment that's impossible for you to live in (therefor useless to you), somehow kill off an entire species, and in the end fuck up an entire ecosystem I'm sure. Don't these people have better things to do like... I don't know... live life maybe?

Thirsty Thursday

I've been thinking a lot more about my life and how I am going to use my capabilities to benefit someone else. The thing is I knew the answer all a long. I now want to be a cinematographer more than ever. I know what you're thinking, how is film going to help others? Well it's not going to cure cancer obviously, but film gives people something that nothing else can. It's a preservative. The whole reason why I ever wanted to be a cinematographer is not because it's fun, or it's something I am pretty okay at. I just want people to be able to live in ways that they aren't able too otherwise. I want people to be able to experience the world I live in as it is now, whether it be real or not. The whole world is changing drastically. New buildings are appearing, and once small towns are becoming cities. The climate is also changing. Whether global warming exists or not is beyond me, but if it does, one day there wont be much snow around. The only way people in the future will know it ever even existed is through pictures and video. And sure photography could be enough, but I want people to be able to hear and see at the same time.
I guess an example to better explain myself would be of a video I recently saw of the Beatles playing "Hey Jude". Sure we can listen to the song and look at pictures, but the video says so much more. I got to witness and feel the emotions of everyone there. It made me get a true feeling of what it was like to actually be there as they played. I could see how important this band once was to the world by not only how the audience responding by singing along and joining them on stage, but also by the simple fact that they were being broadcasted on television in a time when there were only a few channels filled mostly by news and a select handful of family sitcoms. MTV did not exist and music videos were almost unheard of. I also got to see the band interact. They were clearly a real band, real friends, and most importantly real musicians. For a couple of minutes, I got to live in an era where I didn't even exist yet. Video just gives us a way to appreciate things more whether we realize it or not. Since there isn't and probably will never be such a thing as time travel, this is the next best thing.
I've always been good at drawing and painting, but all I can do is see things as they are. I can't manipulate and use my imagination to be more expressive. I'm simply a copy machine. With video it's somewhat different though. I can manipulate the film to make people see and feel in different ways whether it be through simple filming or editing. I have a creativity with film that comes naturally and that I don't have to force.
I'm not trying to make it big in any way. Who would I be kidding? Actually I'd be completely satisfied with making ends meat. The most important thing is doing something I love and that will mean something to someone else as well. One of the good things about coming from where I do, and living the way I am right now, on my own, I've come to realize that money isn't everything. I have learned to be completely satisfied with close to nothing. As long as I have food to eat, a roof over my head, and friends and family to love, I'm perfectly content. The road I am taking may not end glamorously and will definitely be a bumpy one, but I only have up to go from here.

Today I did not take the walk I was hoping I would motivate myself to do. It was way too cold. I did however get out my unused camera and take a picture of Lake Champlain during sunset off of my roof. I also managed to shovel out my car even though I had no intentions on going anywhere. I even forgot it was Thursday until Mary had asked why I was trading in a box of wine for an early start to bed. I miss all my Champlain friends and can't wait till everyone comes back.
I am thinking about taking some language courses. I'm still pretty set on traveling a lot one day, and the confidence in my future career makes it all little more set in stone. I think learning and actually using some new languages could really help in satisfying my urge to broaden my knowledge and capabilities. This is all starting to sound like a dream again, but what doesn't seem appealing about documenting my personal discoveries of a bigger world.

Snowed In

After doing quite a bit of stumble!ing, I came across an article about a 27 year old graduate student who has discovered a more enhanced antibiotic. His new discovery was graciously noted, and he won $30,000. Anyways, if you'd like to read more, here's the link. The main point to this story is I've been thinking a lot about my personal capabilities. I mean, could I (or will I) do something of great importance in my life? I mean not for just me, but something important to others.
I read another article about a student who was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer. Chemo doesn't have any effects on it, and since only 300 people are diagnosed with this particular type of cancer a year, not much effort has been made to find a cure. Until this guy was diagnosed that is. He went to school to be an environmental engineer, but has since spent most of his time in a lab working on a cure for his own cancer. The guy is only 20! I don't think I could ever be that motivated, even if my life was on the line. I mean, how do you even begin to pursue something like that? Where do you even start?
I think I've hit a rough patch in realizing that this could be all I get. It's hard to think that everyday I waste being lazy is just a waste of time, time I'm not going to get back. Even if there is such a thing as life after death or reincarnation, what am I doing to appreciate and fulfill this life? Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I have the best friends, and I come from a good open minded family. I would never change any of that. However, the world is a big place filled with endless opportunities. I think it's time I start taking on some. I just need to start doing rather than just thinking. I have a problem with doing. I tend to just not do anything. I need to start thinking more about the overall reality of life I guess a little more. I spend so much time ignoring it because when I do think about life and that it's not forever, everything hits me too hard all at once and I have trouble breathing.
I'm going to tackle this issue slowly. Tomorrow since I don't have work and everyone is on break, I'm going to take a walk with the camera I haven't ever used. I'm going to appreciate what I have in front of me. That seems like the best thing to do before I can look at what I'm capable of, appreciating what I have available now.
It has snowed quite a bit in the past 24 hours. I'd say about 8 inches or so. Pretty much this means I have been stuck since we all know the corolla is not a fan of the snow. I really hope I can motivate myself to use my own two legs to get out tomorrow. There is one good thing to all this downtime however, I've been able to discover new music. I've been listening to a lot of the Beatles after watching Across the Universe. I never realized how good they truly are, mainly because of the overplaying of "Twist and Shout". Otherwise, it's all extremely good. Paul McCartney has such an amazing voice and raw style for a white guy in the 60's. I don't think I ever realized how much they've influenced music, especially rock. Paul often screams lyrics out of emotion, the same scream of emotions I see in more hardcore music today. I've also been listening to a lot of Feist, Yael Naim, Grizzly Bear, and Regina Spektor. Pretty much really mellow and soft music. I just listened to a Damien Rice Song that I think sums everything up perfectly....

Sleep, Don't Weep

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

Your face is all wet and your day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, or paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face it's all wet 'cause our days were rough
So do what you must do to fill that hole
Wear another shoe to comfort the soul
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I feel I will...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face it's all wet 'cause my day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, or paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I hope I find a place where I feel I belong

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
My face is all wet 'cause my day was rough

The Lost World

I've started a list of places I want to go. Whether I actually make it to any of these places is beyond me, but at least I know where I would like to go. One of the places on this list is a village in the Philippines called Bang-an. It's a hidden mirage like city in the middle of no where. It's over 50 miles from the nearest town, and theres only one road leading to it. The only problem is, no one ever goes there so finding it will be really hard.
I also have been looking at the Ta Prohm junge temple in Cambodia. It is so old that trees have grown on top of some of the buildings caging them in with their roots. It's such an odd rare site and I want to make sure that one day i see it for myself.
I guess I just want to travel to places I haven't seen a million pictures of. I want to skip the crowds and find my own paradises. Sounds like another lame dreamer speech, but I'm really set on doing this one day. Lately I feel like I've been just wasting a lot of my life doing a lot of nothing. I need to make sure I make something of it in case this is all I get.